I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
