can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize