I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
