He told me they were just razor bumps!
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize