I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
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