'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
