"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
