Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
