i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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