oh god the rape fog is back!
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
