Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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