Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
