I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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