Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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