Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
