We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Randomize
