oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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