Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
