As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
