hotel room ftw
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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