so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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