Umm I'm too high to move.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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