I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize