Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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