I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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