dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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