Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
