Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
