i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
