he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
