i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Randomize
