That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
