Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
