we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
