im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My ass is underappreciated
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
