i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
