4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Randomize