There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
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