so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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