you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
