she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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