she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
