dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
