he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
