Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
