Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
