Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
