Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
