She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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