I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
