ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
