Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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