We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
