I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
