2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
