he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
im holly from the hills drunk
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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