i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
