She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
