Got a toothbrush?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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