He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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