Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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