For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
