She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
