I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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