Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just cropdusted the office
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize