Soap is not a condiment
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
