Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
