I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
