Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
