Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
