YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
