god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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