butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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